My mom blames me for putting her in a care home.

Publish date: 2024-05-22
It’s really tough, my mum went into the care home nine weeks ago, she was a bit angry to start with (she has Alzheimer’s) and refused food and drink, wouldn’t take meds, slapped a nurse etc. I took advice from here and also asked the care team at the home about what to do, they asked me to continue visiting as I live very close, so I went in daily for a fortnight, now I’m down to two or three times a week. I don’t enjoy visiting and don’t stay for too long - I have a couple of lies I use to get away, either the dogs need to go out for a wee, or I’ve popped down in my lunch hour and am due back at my desk (I work p/t flexible hours).

Your mum is now safe, whether she likes it or not. I expect you have loads of other things to do now, I’m still working through paperwork but have cleared mums house, the auction of contents was yesterday. The house is on the market - it is a three storey three bed, I have done most of the clearing and cleaning on my own. I am grieving for the end of her life in her own home, but I’m also grieving again for my dad who died ten years ago as I’m going through piles of photos and paperwork which mum had kept - I didn’t foresee how painful this is. The level of stress at this time doesn’t automatically drop, sadly.

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